my sisters under your porch take her home
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
