you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
love makes seman taste better
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
