see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
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