the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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