Fine. I'll sleep in my office
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
