WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
