careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
