what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
