Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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