can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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