Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
