apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
