it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
