Whod you bang
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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