if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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