It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize