This girl is more easily done than said...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
