New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
