I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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