I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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