I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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