he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize