we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
