I wanna bring you to show and tell
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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