i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
