You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
