I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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