i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
