after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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