so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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