Dual....:-)
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
