if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The air was thick with penises
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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