Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
