Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
