I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
