Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
