It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
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