I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
