Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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