You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
