And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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