Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize