..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
