I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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