I wanna bring you to show and tell
We named our party play list daddy issues
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
