What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed