The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
She announced her abortion via fbk
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon