Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?

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(303): If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom? http://tfl.nu/ym23

Replies (24) Good night (664) Bad night (4360)
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(301): View more from Maryland

why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?

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(301): why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher? http://tfl.nu/k3ff

Replies (18) Good night (4155) Bad night (551)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.

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(608): I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP. http://tfl.nu/f5ki

Replies (3) Good night (3201) Bad night (710)
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(932): View more from

The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change

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(932): The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change http://tfl.nu/8ts2

Replies (13) Good night (2154) Bad night (1123)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.

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(248): Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it. http://tfl.nu/bw3w

Replies (9) Good night (3543) Bad night (1223)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.

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(978): Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you. http://tfl.nu/jevr

Replies (6) Good night (3657) Bad night (867)
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(214): View more from Texas

If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you

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(214): If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you http://tfl.nu/i2kd

Replies (7) Good night (1188) Bad night (1868)
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(909): View more from California

It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.

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(909): It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer. http://tfl.nu/6a0i

Replies (5) Good night (421) Bad night (1758)
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(812): View more from Indiana

after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..

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(812): after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married.. http://tfl.nu/qc9h

Replies (14) Good night (719) Bad night (2271)
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(845): View more from New York

Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.

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(845): Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored. http://tfl.nu/hxpc

Replies (2) Good night (1317) Bad night (421)
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(406): View more from Montana

There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.

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(406): There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing. http://tfl.nu/ymyj

Replies (0) Good night (659) Bad night (256)
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(719): View more from Colorado

your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.

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(719): your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well. http://tfl.nu/esbu

Replies (5) Good night (991) Bad night (266)
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(765): View more from Indiana

My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic

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(765): My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic http://tfl.nu/h32f

Replies (0) Good night (545) Bad night (261)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.

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(919): They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am. http://tfl.nu/0bdo

Replies (0) Good night (442) Bad night (226)
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(925): View more from California

i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.

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(925): i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking. http://tfl.nu/rb0f

Replies (5) Good night (948) Bad night (286)

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