come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
