I hope mine doesn't look like that
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Randomize
