Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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