yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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