its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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