Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
