oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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