East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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