Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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