yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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