Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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