No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
