Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
