there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
