i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
