What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
