What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
How naked do you want me to be?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize